PUSH

by Zen&nancy


"What do you want, Krychek?" Mulder sounded tired. He looked worse, he looked weary. He seemed resigned to the gun in his chest, to the stink of the alley and the enevitability of an enemy around every corner.

Alex had been waiting, in the shadows. Waiting for Mulder to give up on the latenight park bench informant, waiting for him to give up on himself. It only took two hours, and Alex thought Mulder must be loosing his edge. It was harder for him now, no Scully, no help from Skinner, no help from anyone.

Alex smiled into exhausted, bloodshot eyes. "I want to take you for granted, Mulder. I want to push you around a little. Everyone else gets that privledge these days, don't they, Mulder? Who knows, it just might feel good."

Mulder laughed, and hung his head, "Good?"

Alex brought the muzzle of his gun up until it bumped againt Mulder's chin, pushing his head up until he could force Mulder to look him in the eye. "Something's got to give, Mulder. It's not over, I still need you."

Mulder sighed, turning his head against the muzzle of the gun to look up the alley. "Not tonight, Krychek. I've got a head ache. Feels like my head is caving in. Why don't you just let me go home?"

Alex took one long look into Mulder's strained, exhausted face and made a decision. "Okay, Mulder, let's go home. Walk."

Mulder was like an overtired child, exhausted into obedience. He followed the direction of the gun in his back unquestioningly, getting into the passenger side of the car Alex led him to and waited with his eyes closed for Alex to walk around to unlock the drivers side.

Mulder was silent, staring blankly out the side window. It started to rain, and Alex drove a little more slowly on the wet streets, glancing over to check on Mulder at every stop.

"Poor Mulder. I almost feel sorry for you. Why did you resign?"

"Why should you care?"

"Come on, Mulder, you know I care." Alex chuckled at the face his passenger made, but he could see, in the little flash of doubt, that Mulder wanted to believe him.

"This is how you show it? Last time wasn't enough? You just had to fuck with me a little more? Go ahead, Krycek, do your worst. I don't care. Just do me a favor, feed the fish."

Alex realized Mulder was serious, and pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Mulder, look at me. I'm not going to kill you, okay?"

"I don't care, Krycek. I don't care."

"Alex."

"I'm not going to call you Alex."

"Yes, you will, Fox."

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't call me Krycek. It's not even my god damn name."

"Is Alex?"

"Yeah." Mulder gave him a look of snide disbelief. "Okay, as far as I know it's my name, okay Fox?"

"I said don't call me that."

"And I said call me Alex. If you're not going to be polite, then I don't see why I shouldn't try to set a precendent. You call me by my name, and maybe I'll use the one you prefer. Even if it isn't yours, either."

Mulder turned to him angrily, twisting around under the seat belt. "What the hell are you implying? That the man you killed wasn't my father? Then who is? Smokey?"

"Do you really want to know, Fox?"

"No. I don't, don't tell me. I don't care. Beside, you'd probably be lying. Alex Krycek doesn't tell the truth."

"That's a little closer, now just loose the Krycek."

"Fuck you, Krycek."

"Is that what you want, Fox?"

"Enough with the name bullshit! You want me to call you Alex? Fine." Mulder couldn't even muster up his usual caustic tone, his voice just sounded tired. He gave in much too fast.

"Okay, Mulder. Are you hungry, you want to stop and get some food?" Alex couldn't help but notice how frighteningly thin Mulder had become.

Mulder's eyes widened in disbelief, and then he turned his head sharply to the window, resting his forehead against the cool glass. "Are we going to sit here all night? I thought you were taking me home."

"Okay, Mulder, we'll go home."

"Thank you, Alex."

"See, that wasn't so hard."


At Mulder's apartment door, Alex took the gun out of his belt and pushed it into Mulder's shoulder. "Unlock the door, Mulder. Don't try to go for your gun when we get inside, okay? I don't want to have to shoot you."

"Thanks, Alex, I really appreciate that." The sarcasm made Alex feel a little better. Mulder wasn't himself, but he wasn't completely gone, either.

Mulder opened the door, and they stepped into his dark apartment. "It was you, wasn't it? You called, you told me to leave my gun at home."

Alex smiled, shrugging his shoulders so that the gun moved against Mulder's back. "What can I say? You're still gullible."

"Are we just going to stand here in the dark all night? What's the point, Krycek? Just tell me whatever it is you want to tell me and leave. I'd rather be alone."

"Oh, poor sad sack Fox, doesn't everybody feel sorry for you? Scully got reassigned and her new partner takes her out to dinner on Saturday night. Skinner got demoted, everyone else is dead, and now all you've got is me. Poor Fox."

Mulder turned to face him, throwing his hands up in the air angrily. "Would you just get it over with!"

"Get what over with, Mulder?"

"Whatever you came here for, whatever you got me out of bed for to sit in the park all night, feeling like a fool."

"Maybe I just wanted to see you, Mulder. Did you ever think of that?"

"No, not without an alterior motive."

"Why not?"

"Because." Mulder looked at him incredulously, as if he'd lost his mind.

"I missed you, Mulder."

"Yeah, sure. Okay, Alex, I'm going to sit down now, is that alright with you, because I'd rather not get shot for sitting on my own damn couch."

"Where are my manners? Please, sit down. Do you want something to drink? I think there's beer in the fridge."

"It's my fucking house. I know there's beer in the fridge!"

Alex smiled. "Would you like one, Mulder?"

"No."

"Okay, we'll just sit and talk then."

"Talk." Mulder repeated him sarcastically.

"Yeah, talk, you know, communicate, share, converse..."

"Fuck! Cut it out, Alex. I have a headache, I don't feel good, I'm tired. Just let me be."

"No. I already feel sorry for you, Mulder, and I'm still here, so that's not going to work."

"Then tell me what will! How do I get you out of my fucking house? How do I get some sleep?" Mulder's voice cracked, high and desperate. Surprised, Alex sat down next to him on the couch, nodding as if to say, of course you do, when Mulder moved away from him.

"If you're tired, go to sleep."

"Krycek!"

"Ah-ah-ah, remember, you promised to call me Alex."

"I didn't promise shit, and I'm not going to sleep with you in my house. Besides, you're sitting on my bed."

"Why do you sleep on the couch, Mulder?"

"Because the matress has a pea under it and it bothers my senstive skin. Because I fucking like it that way. Why should you care where the hell I sleep? What right do you have to be sitting here asking me ridiculous questions? I didn't envite you here, I don't want you here. If I had any sense, I'd call the police."

Alex laughed. "Officer, help! I was waiting for an informant in the park and this mean man stuck his gun in my back and asked me to let him drive me home, and I did. Help, help!"

"Not funny, Alex."

"No, it's not." Alex answered him softly, getting up off the couch to take a beer from Mulder's refrigerator.

"You said you wanted to take me for granted."

Alex came back to the couch, and even though he sat very close, this time Mulder didn't move away. He couldn't, he didn't have anywhere to go, he was already in the corner of the leather couch, his elbow bent and resting on the arm, holding his head in hand.

"That's right."

"What does that mean?"

"Just this. I want to sit here and drink a beer with you, listen to you tell me how fucked up your life is, watch you fall asleep watching a porno. Whatever, Mulder. I just want to be here, and take it for granted. What's wrong with that?"

"You're crazy."

Alex laughed. "Consider the source."

That made Mulder chuckle. He kicked off his shoes, propping his feet up on the coffee table in front of them. He leaned back into the couch, resting his head against the smooth leather. "Okay, fine. As long as I don't have to talk."

"No, you don't have to do anything."

"I have to deal with you, don't I? I have to submit to having you in my apartment, or you'll shoot me. Isn't that right, Alex?"

"An interesting choice of words, Mulder, but yeah, I guess that's right. I don't want to shoot you, but if you're going to push it..."

Mulder shook his head no, sliding down a little on the couch, so that the small of his back was on the seat, and his head was level with Alex's shoulder. "I'm not going to push it. I think my luck ran out, anyway."

Alex laughed a little, and to his surprise, Mulder laughed with him. "I imagine it has, Mulder. That doesn't matter here, you don't have to have luck on your side to live through this, just a little common sense. I'm not here to kill you, and you're not going to try to kill me, so there's nothing to worry about."

"Right."

"I'm serious, Mulder. Why is that so hard to believe, that I don't want to kill you? Use your head, Mulder, think about it logically. If I'd wanted to shoot you, wouldn't it have made more sense to do it in the alley, where I could just wipe the gun off, put it in your hand and walk away? Your apartment is the last place I'd murder you, Mulder. I've already left prints all over the place."

"That's never stopped you before."

"And it's not stopping me now. I don't want to kill you, Mulder. Why won't you believe me?"

"If you want me to believe you, then tell me what you do want, tell me why you're here."

"I did."

"And you expect me to believe that? You want to watch me sleep? What, you're in love with me?"

"Maybe."

"You're out of your mind!"

"Maybe."

"Are you going to make any sense, or are you just going to sit here spouting bullshit and lies?"

"Maybe."

"Stop it!"

"What would you like me to say, Mulder? I tell you the truth, and you give me shit for it. You're supposed to give me positive reinforcment when I tell you the truth, Mulder."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

Mulder laughed, a short, sharp sound of disgust. "Whatever, Alex."

"Whatever, Mulder."

Alex let him sit silently for several minutes. When Mulder reached for the t.v. remote, Alex smiled.

They watched a black and white movie with the sound turned all they way down, Mulder kept his eyes on the screen, and Alex drank his beer, dividing his attention between Mulder and the movie.

Mulder's head began to droop, he would drift off to sleep for a moment and then wake up again, his head snapping up quickly, as if Alex hadn't noticed.

"It's okay, Mulder. You can go to sleep. I'm not going to shoot you."

"Why won't you just go away?" He sounded exhausted, and almost resigned to having Alex's company.

"Don't you get lonesome, Mulder?"

Mulder laughed. "Of course I do. The desire for affection and kindness is a natural human trait. Everybody gets lonely. That doesn't mean I want you here."

"That hurts, Mulder."

"Get real, Alex."

"I am for real."

For the first time, Mulder seemed to take him seriously. He turned to look at him, shaking his head slowly. "What's gotten into you?"

"Fox Mulder." Alex whispered, leaning back on the couch, away from Mulder, trying to show as little aggressiveness as possible.

"Are you fucking with my head, Krycek?"

"Please call me Alex, Mulder. I'm all done being Krycek." He spoke softly, clasping his hands in his lap.

"Are you fucking with my head, Alex?"

"I'm trying not to."

Mulder exhaled a loud, frustrated breath, pushing his hand over his face and back through his hair. "Okay, I'm going to try to spell this out real nice and simple, and you're going to answer me, honestly. Okay?"

"Okay."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm trying to spend some time with you."

"Why?"

"I want to. I'm lonely. I missed you."

"What?"

"I missed you. I wanted to see you. How else am I supposed to say it, Mulder?"

"How can you sit here and say these things, after everything that's happened? For that matter, what the hell was up the last time I saw you? You put a gun in my face, give me vital information, and then you... you..."

"I kissed you."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't."

"Look, there's a really simple way to end this argument." Alex leaned over, and pressed his lips to Mulder's open mouth. He was totally unresponsive, and Alex didn't try to put his tongue in his mouth, only kept his lips sealed over Mulder's until finally, he pulled away.

"That's why your here?"

Alex smiled ruefully, licking the taste of Mulder off his own lips. "Yeah, that's why I"m here."

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you that is seriously fucked up."

"And you're not? For that matter, who isn't, Mulder? Everybody's fucked up. The whole damn world's fucked up, so why can't I kiss you if I want to?"

"That's not logic, Alex, don't try to make this sound logical."

"It's logical to me."

"That's because you're fucked up and crazy."

"Mulder, we can go around like this all night. The truth is, I wouldn't be here if you didn't want me to be, at least a little. I'm not holding a gun on you now. I'm not trying to force you. I'm just sitting here, telling you the truth. So why don't you just admit you want me to kiss you? You don't have to kiss me back, just admit you want it."

"I don't."

Alex sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. "Okay, Mulder. If that's really the way you feel, I'll leave. I'll leave you to your t.v. and your lonliness. Have a nice night, Mulder, it was good to see you again."

Alex got up, his footsteps heavy as he made his way to the door.

"Alex, wait a second. Just wait a second, okay? Don't leave yet."

"Why?"

"Because we were talking, and now you're just going to get up and walk out and I'll sit here like a shell shocked moron until morning, like I did last time. I'd rather try to talk about it. If you don't mind." He finished quietly, sounding rather embarassed for asking.

"I'd like that, Mulder." Alex turned around, smiling hesitantly as he sat down again, this time leaving the length of the couch between them.

"How long have you... how long have you felt this way about me?"

"Since the begining."

"Then how could you... how could do all those things?"

"How? I don't know. I do what I have to, Mulder. It's not like they gave me a choice. I tried to protect you, when I could. I tried to help."

"Are you telling me the truth, Alex?"

Nodding slowly, Alex answered, his voice pitched low in an attempt to hide the emotion behind his words. "Yes, Mulder, I'm telling you the truth. I swear."

"Holy shit."

Alex laughed, a raw, self-depreciating sound in the dark. "Been called worse."

Mulder looked up at him quickly, asking as if the thought has just occured to him. "Are you gay?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know that?"

"Why would I?"

"I don't know, I guess I figured you would have come to that conclusion when I worked with you, you being the brilliant profiler and all that..."

"Alex, I don't profile the people I work with, I profile the criminals." After a second, he seemed to realize the incongruity of what he'd said, and he laughed, nervously. "Well, anyway, I didn't."

"Oh. Well, I am. You're not, are you?"

"No."

"Oh."

Mulder sighed, turning sideways to face him on the couch. "Alex, what do you want?" This time, his voice was gentle.

"I want you, Mulder. But, I'm a realist, and obviously, that isn't going to happen. So I should go... I just wanted to see you again, that's really all it was. I'm sorry I got you out of bed."

"You're not going anywhere. What happened to wanting my company?"

"Mulder. Come on, don't taunt me, okay? I'll go."

"Alex, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay, okay? Will you just stay, please?"

Alex smiled self consciously, finding it difficult to maintain eye contact. Mulder was staring right into his eyes, a look of gentle curiosity on his face. "Um, okay, I guess I can stay."

"So what is this? Infatuation? Lust? You've got a weird kink for straight FBI guys?"

Alex laughed, shaking his head. "I've never been with a straight guy. I've never even been with a virgin."

"I'm not a virgin."

"As far as I'm concerned you are. Anyway, this is stupid... and embarassing."

"Why?"

"Why? Come on, I'm sitting here pouring my heart out like a fool, telling you all this shit... Like it's going to make a difference."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to embarass you. I just want to know, Alex. Are you in love with me?"

"Oh god... Yes, fine, I'm fucking in love with you. I've been in love with you since the first week I knew you. Now you can tell me how stupid that is, and I can feel better 'cause it's all off my chest, and I can go home and jack off and you can sit here and laugh yourself to death. Are you happy, Mulder?"

Mulder shook his head, smiling. "You think about me when you jack off?"

"Only about three or four times a day. The rest of the time I'm thinking about you and Brad Pitt."

Mulder threw back his head and laughed, turning red. "Thanks, I think. Am I on top, or is Brad getting a piece?"

Alex laughed back, blushing almost a deeply as Mulder. "You don't want to know."

There was a long silence, when neither of them knew what to say. Mulder stared at the tv, and Alex sat twisting drawstring on the waist of his sweatshirt. Mulder took a deep breath, and then he moved, sliding across the couch until he was sitting right next to Alex, his knee brushing Alex's thigh.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah, I guess so, sure."

Mulder leaned across the space between them, hesitating when their lips were only milimeters apart. "Be patient with me, Alex." Mulder mumbled, and then he pressed his lips lightly to Alex's mouth, closing his eyes as he leaned closer. Alex's right hand came up to touch Mulder's shoulder, curving around the sharp bone to hold him lightly. "Um, I think I might like this." Mulder mumbled, puckering his lips to kiss Alex again, lightly, just pressing their lips together, staying perfectly still against Alex's mouth.

"Mmm. Oh Mulder. Oh shit, no, come on, don't do this, okay? You're only doing this because you know I want you to. I don't need a pity fuck. I don't need..."

"Alex, I'm not. I mean it, I'm not. I'm kissing you because I'm curious, and because it excites me to know that you want me. Is that so wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Neither do I. Kiss me back."

Alex did exactly as Mulder asked, not moving his position on the couch at all, but leaning forward to meet Mulder's lips, kissing him back with all the tenderness he could muster, wishing that he knew how to keep Mulder kissing him, wanting to kiss him, all night long.

"Thank you." Mulder whispered, smiling.

"You're welcome."

"So, can I ask... How you like to, uh, do it with a guy? I mean, are you dominant or submissive?"

Alex smiled, brushing his lips over Mulder's once again. "Top. Mostly."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"I was just wondering."

"Okay."

"Am I driving you crazy?"

"Only in a good way."

"I don't believe we're doing this."

"It's okay. I mean... whatever you want, Mulder. Whatever you want." Alex wasn't sure if he was trying to convince Mulder, or himself, as he lifted his hand from Mulder's shoulder to cup the back of his skull, drawing him slowly back to his lips.

Mulder kissed him back, humming in the back of his throat. "Mmm... Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"How come you're being so honorable?"

"I may be a Ratbastard, Mulder, but I do have a soul. I'm not gonna rape you."

Mulder laughed, blushing even more profusely than he had before. "I didn't mean that you would... I just meant, why are you being so nice to me?"

"I guess just because I want to. Because this feels really good, and I don't want to go home."

"Then don't."

"Mulder?"

"Hmm?"

"This couch is not going to be big enough for both of us."

"Then we'll sleep in the bed."

"I thought you hated the bed."

"Only when I have to sleep in it alone."

"Oh, well, you don't have to sleep alone."

"Kiss me some more?"

"Mulder... oh Mulder." Alex pressed his lips to Mulder's, this time manipulating the lush mouth until he was kissing him deeply, his tongue buried in Mulder's mouth, stroking against his gums and the back of his teeth. "Taste so fucking good..."

"Yeah? You too..."

Alex shifted on the couch, leaning forward to wrap his arm around Mulder's ribs, drawing him against his body. The kissed lingeringly, tongues circling around and around each other, chasing back and forth between their open mouths.

"Mulder?"

"Mmm, what?"

"I feel compelled to remind you... mmm, god you feel good... I feel compelled to remind you that you're straight, and I'm not female."

"Yeah, I think I noticed that... But thanks for calling it to my attention."

"Ah, well, you know, I'm a gentleman."

Mulder laughed against his lips, and Alex felt himself growing hard from the breathtaking sensation of swallowing Mulder's laughter.

"Seriously... are you sure you're not going to regret this?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Alex had his hand burried in Mulder's hair, holding him against his lips while Mulder's hands moved restlessly across his back, squeezing and kneading the muscles repetitively.

"Okay. We should probably stop, though." Alex voice was shakey, as he shifted his hips uncomfortably, trying to find a little more room in his jeans.

"Why?"

" 'Cause I don't want to."

"Oh."

Alex let go of Mulder's hair, pulling back a few inches so that he could see him in the flickering light of the tv. Mulder looked uncertain, and maybe even scared. "Hey, it's okay. I mean, I'm sorry... that wasn't supposed to be a threat."

"It's not. Let's just go to bed, and see what happens, okay?"

Alex took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He reached up to smooth down Mulder's hair, enjoying the feeling of the silky stuff sliding through his fingers, and amazed by the way Mulder turned his head into his hand, prolonging the caress.

"Yeah, okay."

Alex followed Mulder to his bedroom, looking around curiously in the dark. "You really don't sleep here, do you?"

"Nope. Nightmares. I like the tv."

"Why don't you just bring the tv in here?" Alex asked him, bending over to untie his gym shoes and remove them, along with his sweatsocks.

"I sleep better on the couch. Bed's too big."

"Not for both of us." Alex told him quietly, coming up behind Mulder to wrap his arm around him. "Should we take our clothes off, or not?"

"Um... not yet."

"Okay, okay, it's all good..." Alex mumbled soothingly, daring to kiss the back of his neck. Mulder bend his head down until his chin was on his chest, exposing his neck for Alex to kiss. Goosebumps appeared over the delicate skin, as Alex began to nip lightly, sucking little tastes of Mulder's skin between his teeth.

"Ah... shit, that feels good."

"Uh-huh. Lie down with me."

They got under the covers, Alex on Mulder's left so that he could touch him with his natural hand. He was still self conscious about the prosthetic, although Mulder didn't seem upset by it.

"So what do you do with your time these days, Mulder? Mope and sulk?"

"Yeah, mostly, and feel sorry for myself."

Alex chuckled, shaking his head. "That's no good."

"It's okay." Mulder told him dissmissively, shrugging his shoulders. "To tell you the truth, I never expected to get as far as I did."

"You did good, Mulder. You did good." Alex wished that he could find words to explain to Mulder that what he had acomplished was phenominal, beyond any reasonable expectations. Instead, he pulled Mulder close, hugging him with his arm wrapped tightly around his waist and one leg thrown out over both of his, drawing him into the shelter of his body.

"You feel good. Hold me harder."

"Oh Mulder... I could kiss you until my lips fall off." Alex attacked Mulder's soft, pliant lips, demonstrating his statement with as much restraint as he could manage.

Mulder returned his kisses ardently, but when Alex's hand slid down from the center of his back to squeeze his ass Mulder stiffened, pulling back from his lips.

"Mulder?"

"I don't think I want you to do that."

"Okay." Alex smiled, wondering why it felt so good to do this to himself. It was his mouth, Alex thought that he really could be content to just lay there and kiss that mouth till morning.

Mulder stared at him with a blank, benign expression that Alex identified as serious thought and contemplation. Mulder always looked vacant when his wheels were turning, it was one of a thousand endearing things about him. Finally, he closed his eyes, moving forward to kiss him softly, gradually giving up his tongue and then his mouth to Alex's kiss.

When they parted, several minutes later, Alex hissed between his teeth, bending his neck to nuzzle Mulder's throat, nipping lightly on his earlobe.

"You are so fucking gorgeous." Alex whispered in his ear, holding Mulder tightly against his chest with all the strength in his right arm.

"You're weird." Mulder whispered back, in such an intimate, conspiritory tone that Alex laughed, in spite of the pain in his balls, and kissed his temple. Mulder smiled, so he kissed his cheeks, his nose, his eyebrows and his forehead, working his way slowly back down to his jaw.

"I want you so fucking bad, Mulder. I wanna fuck you until you don't know your own name." Alex found himself whispering the words against Mulder's neck, felt them slipping out of his mouth with no control to stop them.

As Alex knew he would, Mulder got skittish and began to fight his embrace.

"Easy, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry..."

Mulder laughed, embarassed, and pushed his face into the side of Alex's neck, hiding and trying to seek out his embrace at the same time.

"Who would have thought I'd take the prize for pricktease of the year? I'm sorry, Alex."

"Mulder, sexy Mulder... Look at me." Alex took his chin in his hand and lifted Mulder's face to look into his eyes. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. Okay? I mean that. I think I'm gonna take a shower, and then I'll come back to bed and we can sleep. That's fine."

"Okay." Mulder didn't look disapointed, but he did follow Alex with his eyes when he pulled back the covers and rose from the bed, walking slowly out of the bedroom.


Alex stood under the hot spray of Mulder's shower, his feet braced out in front of him, leaning back against the wet tile. His hand was on his cock, stroking himself quickly with a light grasp, reaching down to touch his balls every few strokes. Mulder walked in on him after less than a full minute of self gratafication. Alex smiled at him, not entirely surprised. He thought Mulder must have some kind of masterbation radar.

"Would you mind if I watched?"

"No, not at all. In fact, you're welcome to join me."

"I think I'll stay out here. You look good."

"Thank you." Alex answered him, stroking his cock more slowly, conscious of Mulder's eyes fixed on his groin.

"Tell me what you were thinking about?" Mulder leaned against the sink, watching him through the clear plastic shower curtain. Alex decided to give him a less distorted view, and pulled the curtain aside.

"What I was thinking about? Um, you're mouth."

"Me sucking you off?"

"No, just your mouth, your lips. Just watching you talk turns me on."

"Really? That's interesting."

Alex chuckled, stroking himself a little harder, staring directly at Mulder's lips, wet and swollen from his kisses.

"God, Mulder. Making out with you is better than fucking... Your mouth, oh god your fucking mouth... makes me crazy... You--make me--crazy."

"That's beautiful. Do it faster, go ahead, let me see you come, milk it for me, that looks like it feels so good..."

"Ah-ahhhhhh, Mulder." Alex came in three long spurts, over his belly, chest and hand, groaning in deep satisfaction and release.

Mulder was still leaning against the sink, both hands behind him on the ledge, his hips thrust forward slightly. There was a wide grin on his face, and a decidedly large bulge in his jeans.

"Thanks for sharing."

Alex laughed. "Anytime. Let's go to bed." He washed off quickly under the spray, and accepted the towel Mulder handed him as he stepped out. Feeling self conscious about his arm for the first time, Alex wrapped the towel ackwardly around his waist. Mulder reached out and touched the stump halfway down what had been his left bicep, cupping the scar tissue gently in his hand.

"Don't be embarassed, it's not anything to feel inhibited about. It only made you stronger, Alex. Does it still hurt?"

"No."

"That's good. Let's go to bed."

Alex followed him back to the bedroom, drying himself quickly while Mulder striped to his boxers, and crawled under the covers, leaving him the left side of the bed. Alex lay down next to him, surprised when Mulder moved immediately to his side, wrapping both his arms around his waist and pulling him close.

"I really got off on watching you."

"I know, you're like that."

"Why is this common knowledge?"

Alex chuckled, kissing the side of Mulder's neck, leaving a very slight mark. "Um, because you're addicted to pornography?"

"Mm, maybe... bite harder?"

"My pleasure." Alex growled, moving lower, where the marks he wanted to leave could be hidden by a shirt collar. Mulder moaned, twisting his head in encouragement while Alex chewed on his neck, leaving little imprints of his teeth all the way down to his shoulders. Mulder's right hand slipped between them to take his cock out of his boxer shorts, moaning even louder when Alex began to lick his way back up his neck.

"Would you like me to do that for you, Mulder?" Alex whispered in his ear, nibbling playfully on his earlobe.

"Ah, fuck, yeah... jerk me off."

Alex shifted a little on his side, finding a comfortable position and taking Mulder's hard cock in his hand. He was very hot, and thick, smooth and completely ridgid in his hand.

"Oh Mulder, what you do to me..." Alex groaned, realizing that his cock was already filling with blood, swelling to the beat of the light strokes he was using on Mulder's erection. Mulder stopped him with his hand, covering his briefly and drawing him away. "Not yet... net yet."

"Whatever you want, Mulder." Alex leaned in to kiss him, giving himself up completely to the demands of Mulder's lips. When Mulder finally tore his mouth away, they were both gasping, grinning widely at each other in the pink light streaming through the blinds.

Mulder began to kiss his throat with wide, opened mouth kisses, sucking his skin into his mouth with hungry suction. He sucked over his Adam's apple, and down to the hollow of his throat, licking there with a rough tongue.

"Ah, shit, Mulder... trying to kill me?"

"Nope. But I'd like to know what you're cock tastes like."

"Mulder." Alex groaned helplessly, bunching the sheet up in his fist as Mulder's mouth moved south, sucking hard at the center of his chest, moving down on the bed to lick quickly over his belly.

"Mulder... Oh fuck, yeah."

Mulder was kissing his cock, slowly, taking his time as he kissed all the way down his length, pushing his tongue experimentally into the base, licking and sucking there until Alex was about to scream from the pleasure. He kissed his way back up just as slowly, twisting his tongue around to reach the other side. When he got back to the top, he drew the tip into his mouth, flicking his tongue lightly over the slit.

"How'm I doing?"

"Any better and I'll be dead."

"How do I do it? Just suck?"

"Uh-huh... ah christ, Mulder, your fucking mouth is so soft, feels so good..." Alex moaned in agonized pleasure as Mulder sucked him into the cavern of his mouth, slowly but steadily taking him into his throat.

Mulder began to suck, and Alex thought that nothing else would ever make him come again, so exceptional was the pleasure of Mulder's soft, wet tongue, licking him insesscently while he sucked.

"Oh Mulder, that's so good. Your mouth was made to suck my cock. Oh god, please don't stop. Oh Mulder.. suck me, suck me, oh yeah..." Alex moaned out loud, arching into the steady suction. He tried to tell himself to stay still, and let Mulder do whatever he wanted, but in the end, he was moving as much as Mulder was, lifting his hips to meet each breathtaking thrust into Mulder's mouth. He came much to quickly, but it felt so intensely good that he didn't even care. The orgasm he'd given himself in the shower seemed like a drop in the bucket, while Mulder's mouth was a tidal wave.

"Mulder! I'm gonna..." Mulder released him, fisting his cock in his hand while he came. Alex groaned continuously, arching his back and thrusting his hips hard into Mulder's hand, exploding all over both them, splattering their chests with his come.

Alex lay panting, his eyes closed, too exhausted and too happy to move.

"Alex."

"Hmm?"

"I think I have an oral fixation."

"That's wonderful, Mulder."

Alex sighed, opening his eyes to look at Mulder lying beside him, leaning in to lick his lips like a cat. "Wanna come? I bet you do..." Alex whispered in his ear, taking Mulder's cock in his hand.

Mulder blushed bright red, grinning up at him widely. "I already did... I came when you did."

Alex caressed the soft, wet cock in his hand, too pleased for words. "You're something else, Mulder."

"Mmm, tired." Mulder mumbled, curling up on his side with one arm thrown out over Alex's chest, his head on his shoulder.

"But not lonely?"

Mulder laughed against his skin, rubbing his nose back and forth in the hollow of his shoulder. "No, not lonely."

"Maybe neither of us has to be lonely anymore."


This ain't over, no not here, not while I still need you around
You don't owe me, we might change
Yeah we just might feel good
I wanna push you around, I will, I will
I wanna push you down, I will, I will
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will

Lyrics borrowed without permission from Matchbox 20


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