Disclaimer: Fox Mulder and Alex Krycek are owned by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and Fox Broadcasting. No money made, no harm intended.

This is just a PWP. We needed to get our feet wet with Mulder and the Ratboy. This is a taking a break from a story to write a story situation. This is also our first attempt in the X-Files genre, so please let us know what you think.

Story title borrowed without permission from the Indigo Girls.


By Zen&nancy

Krycek stood against the wall, listening to the sound of a key turning in the lock and trying to keep his breathing quiet. Mulder stepped into his apartment, pausing in the open doorway. His mail wasn't lying on the floor where it should be, it was on the coffee table, the announcement of his latest winnings in Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes had been opened and the form letter inside unfolded. His hand went to his gun, his nostrils flared in the dark, searching for his assailant, and identifying a familiar scent.

"Alex?" There was a catch in his voice, the word jumping from his throat with horrible hope and fear.

His lover stepped from the shadow of the corner, his right hand stretched forward towards Mulder holding his gun. Mulder sighed, pressing the decocking button. He watched Alex's shoulders drop at the small click as the hammer fell innocently and the gun was returned to it's place under the agent's left armpit.

Green eyes glinted at him in the dark, the full lips smiling in greeting and relief.

"What are you doing here? It's not safe..."

"It's never safe," the younger man whispered harshly, devouring him with his eyes, but remaining where he was in the shadows. "I had to see you."

"What is it?"

"It's the end, Mulder. I'm running out of time. I'm going to kill that bastard before they get me, but it's only a matter of time now. Can you give me one more night? I know it's too late... but I need this," the harsh whisper carried across the room, licking like flames in Mulder's mind.

He reached out a hand without taking his eyes from Krycek's face and switched on the light. "Come here."

Krycek didn't move for a long minute, and Mulder felt something inside him tear at the naked fear in the wild eyes. What had they done to him now? His lover walked an even finer and more dangerous line than the one he tread, and Krycek was right, time was running out, all the signs said so. It was only a matter of time before this secret, too, would be discovered and used against them, but it had been so long. They'd been through so much horror since the last time they'd managed to steal a night from the forces they each worked against.

Finally, Alex came to stand in front of him, waiting until Mulder turned and closed and locked the door before he spoke again.

"I missed you."

"I was afraid you were dead. Oh god, Alex, come here..."

His lover's right arm wrapped around him, his fingers dug fiercely into his back, and then he pulled out of his embrace, shoving away from the welcoming arms.

"I can't hold you!" He cried, turning violently away from the hand on his shoulder.

"Let me hold you. That's why you're here, that's why we're risking everything, because you need this. I need it too. Come here, ratfink, let me hold you..."

The old endearment drew a harsh laugh from his lover's throat, "They cut off my fucking arm and I can't hold you! They left the trigger finger though, and that's all I need. They should have cut them both off, because I'm going to murder that stinking, rotting, cancerous bastard..."

"Shh," Mulder interrupted the slightly hysterical tirade, closing his mouth over his lover's and refusing to accept his denial when he tried to pull away. His lips sealed over the wet, cursing mouth, drawing out the venom with his tongue. His hand moved slowly up Alex's back to stroke the short hair, fingertips remembering the unbelievably silky texture of the fine strands.

"So short," Mulder lamented softly against his lips, his fingers massaging the back of his skull.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered, thrusting his tongue anxiously into the older man's mouth, panting softly against his lips.

"No, no sorry's," Mulder mumbled against the hungry lips, gentling the fierce teeth and tongue by feeding him what he demanded. Krycek tasted like peppermint Schnapps and cherry slices. He was as addicted to the crystal sugar coated gummie slices as Mulder was his sunflower seeds. Mulder eased his gun out of the holster, reaching around his lover's empty left shoulder to set it down on the coffee table.

Krycek's hand was already pulling his shirt from his waistband, tugging insistently until he was able to slide his palm under the cotton undershirt Mulder was wearing. His hand roamed quickly over his lover's chest, an urgency in his touch that he was incapable of concealing. He had taken ridiculous risks to come here. Traveled an insane distance in minimal comfort, and risked getting caught a dozen different times, all to snatch a few hours of oblivion in this man's arms.

Mulder's hands were moving slowly over his back, gentling him with slow circles of his palms over his muscles, releasing tension. They stood pressed against each other from knee to forehead, eyes open and staring into each other. Two men who could trust no one but each other. They barely remembered what it was to trust, except in these stolen odd hours that would have to last them stretches of months at a time before they saw each other again.

"Are you okay?" Alex whispered harshly, not wanting to waste precious time with useless words, but needing some reassurance that the dogs weren't any closer at his lover's heels then they'd been the last time he'd seen him.

"Yeah. You?" Mulder's love was easily identified in the short words, his lips against his neck. Alex shivered as they closed over him, forcing out an answer.

"No. It doesn't matter."

Mulder's strong arms were around him, holding him up, and his love wrapped around Krycek like a cocoon in the dark. Nothing mattered here, not how many more people he had to kill or how much more time he had left or what became of either of them. All that mattered was now, and Mulder's warm breath on his skin, making him burn.

"Down, easy..." Mulder whispered, as his hands guided Alex, lowering them both to their knees on the floor. His lover was pulling off his suit jacket, his hand going to Mulder's belt to pull the leather through the loops of his slacks.

Krycek fought relentlessly with the small buttons of the expensive dress shirt until he had it off of his lover, and bare skin was exposed to his mouth at last. He was barely aware of the gentle hands removing his shirt and unfastening his jeans, pushing them off his hips to fall around his knees. He was drowning in taste and scent. His eyes were closed tightly now, his mouth roaming greedily across his lover's chest, rubbing his face into soft skin and breathing in his scent.

Long, elegant, hands stroked down his back and over his buttocks to the backs of his thighs, and then up again, burning like fire on his bare skin. A touch so gentle that it seemed impossible that this sensation could really be just another person touching him. He hated to be touched, to be petted and stroked. He liked to be fucked hard and fast and then faster, until bright lights exploded in front of his eyes and the blood rushed to his brain, blocking out everything. But not with this man. Mulder's hands were magic, forgiveness, and pleasure so sweet it made him shake with want. It stole his breath and filled him with heat and happiness.

"Alex, ah, it's so good to hold you. I can't believe you're here," Mulder whispered in his ear, hot breath spreading gooseflesh across his neck.

"Don't talk. Kiss me," Alex panted harshly against his throat, his lips devouring the man who held him and touched him so tenderly.

Mulder's hands drifted from his back to his sides, palms sliding flat and smooth down his hips, and then coming up between their bodies to graze across his nipples, fingertips pulling lightly at his wrinkled skin.

Krycek whimpered pitifully against his lips, his tongue thrusting deeper into his mouth. Mulder smiled against the feral mouth, strong hands moving to his sides to press him back, lifting his legs out from under him to lay him down on the floor. He quickly pulled off Alex's pants and shoes and socks. The floor was hard beneath him, and Krycek was grateful for it, and for the four walls and heat and privacy. They had done this in places and times far less safe, not to mention comfortable. They came together like this because they needed it. Needed the understanding, care and absolution they found only in one another's arms, they needed it to keep fighting their respective battles.

Mulder stretched out on top of the thin, hard frame, his arms gathering Alex up off the floor and against his chest. He kicked off his own pants and shoes and socks, so they lay naked against each other. He buried his face in the soft neck, nuzzling with warm breath and lips and nose, sucking slightly at the hollow above the collar bone. Krycek's hand covered his face, holding Mulder's mouth against him.

Mulder's legs parted Alex's thighs, slipping between them to rub his erection lightly up the tender skin of inner thigh, the hard length pressing gently against the balls swollen in their soft sac.

"Mulder. Mulder. I need..." Alex's cry was a high pitched whine, no less painful because he managed to keep the volume down to a shrieked whisper.

"I know, I know Alex, it's okay," Mulder's eyes stared directly into his, promising mercy. "What do you want first? Anything you want," Mulder promised tenderly, his teeth nipping lightly at the smooth, unscarred right shoulder.

"You," Alex groaned, squirming and twisting his way down Mulder's body, until he could take the rigid flesh between his lips, drawing him steadily into his mouth. He didn't stop to breath until he had him deep in the back of his throat, lips sealed tight along the hot skin.

Mulder sat back on his knees and watched him, his eyes losing their piercing intensity and going soft and liquid as he gazed down at Alex, sucking him hungrily. Alex held him deep in his throat for a long time, refusing to move or to release the strong suction, breathing shallowly through flared nostril. He looked up at Mulder, dire, heart rending need in his eyes. The soft, too full lips stretched around him, and the hot tongue snaked slowly up and down, tracing the throbbing vein along the underside of his cock.

Mulder gasped, the sounds of his stilted breaths harsh in the silence. His hands plunged into the silky hair, encouraging the wet, hot tormentor to move. Alex made a sound of pleasure around him that was half snicker and half moan, the vibration sending sparks of pleasure up his spine. Mulder rocked slowly forward against the soft, moist flesh that surrounded him. His eyes drifting shut as he felt himself falling, losing the battle to hold on the pieces of himself that were falling apart in Alex's sweet, demanding mouth.

Alex was curled up smaller than Mulder would have thought it possible, he'd wrapped his body around Mulder's knees with his beautiful head in his lap. His throat was sucking and twisting with a hungry, needy intensity that was almost painful. Mulder's hands spread over the back of Alex's head, moving with him, thrusting hard into the mouth that would never falter, would suck him and suck him until he pleaded to come. Krycek was rocking against him, his legs drawn up and his erection pressed against Mulder's thigh. He was completely lost to the pleasure he was giving and receiving, Mulder knew. It was a kind of driven trance that would only grow more focussed until he had what he wanted; Mulder's orgasm pulsing between his lips, the head rubbing against the roof of his mouth as hot semen covered his tongue and the back of his throat.

Mulder groaned roughly above him, "Alex! Almost, oh yeah, almost... Please," Mulder bucked into the moist softness, thrusting hard now, holding Alex's face in his hands to draw the rhythm he needed from the dangerous, voracious mouth. He came with a short, sharp cry, his hands on either side of his lover's head tightening as he was sucked and licked with something close to frenzy.

Mulder's body trembled violently as Alex released him slowly from his mouth to press his cheek wordlessly to the taut thigh muscle. A short sob rose up in his chest, and then he bent down, dragging his lover up to cover the slack mouth softly with his own. The beautiful body in his arms contorted, arching up to hump desperately against his thigh. He slowly lay Alex down underneath him, stretching them both out again to lie on the floor. Alex pressed his heavy, engorged cock into the hollow of Mulder's hip, rubbing back and forth with small gasps of pleasure.

"You look like a fallen angel," Mulder muttered hoarsely, pulling the straining body tightly up against him. Mulder's lips attacked the soft skin at the curve of the throat delicately, biting and sucking with careful, loving deliberation. One strong arm beneath Alex's back held him plastered against Mulder's length, the other stroked him soothingly, moving first up and down his arm, over his shoulder and across his chest. Alex trembled in his arms when his gentle touch reached the scar tissue at his left shoulder, moving lightly across the rounded amputation and down his side. Mulder's hand bracing his back moved a little lower, holding him up to close soft, coaxing lips around his right nipple, sucking and licking until Alex was nearly sobbing beneath him.

"Now? Come on, please? Now..." Alex whined, squirming beneath him when long fingers stroked lightly down his bobbing erection. "No, don't, please, Mulder, I can't take it like this, you know I can't... I need it bad, just fuck me, please? Fuck me hard."

"Shh, you know I'll give you what you want, don't rush it. You're so perfect like this, let me have you..." Mulder's murmur was soothing and infuriating, as his lips trailed softly down his chest, leaving wet, tender kisses across his burning skin.

"Oh, god, no, I can't take it... Don't," Krycek pleaded in broken gasps as soft, full lips rained light kisses up and down his straining cock. No one touched him like this, no one took such exquisite care to cover every inch of his skin with long, soft kisses. Mulder's hands never stopped stroking him, up and down his thighs, then the sensitive place where his legs joined his torso, and up to his hips and back down to his aching balls again. There he closed his hand gently over the delicate skin, moving the swollen testicles back and forth against each other until Krycek sobbed, curling up tightly, his shoulders wracking with the violent gasps for air.

"Mmm, easy, ratfink, you can do it, just let go, feel the pleasure," Mulder coaxed softly, his voice like velvet against Alex's throbbing flesh.

"Mm-mm, no, please, fuck me, Mulder..." Alex's voice was high, close to panic from the pleasure he was receiving from the light, beautiful sweep of Mulder's tongue on his cock, and the fingers that stroked slowly over his perineum.

"Hush, I love you, it's okay," Mulder encouraged him tenderly, taking the swollen, leaking flesh between his lips. Alex choked on the pleasure, shuddering violently. He was so afraid of this, pleasure without pain. Mulder knew it, and each time he drew their lovemaking out a little longer, coaxing trust from the body that strained painfully for release beneath him. His tongue swirled slowly around the oozing tip, sucking the bulbous head into his mouth until his lips closed around the ridge. Mulder's finger probed gently between his cheeks, and Alex sobbed again, in relief, pushing back urgently against the slow penetration.

"Shh, nice and slow, no, you know you can. I want this so badly, Alex, you're so beautiful. Please, just let me make love to you tonight." Mulder's voice was tender and commanding, one hand in the center of his chest, holding him back as the heavenly soft mouth drew him in a little deeper.

Krycek broke into a steady stream of begging, half in English half in Russian, all of it in breathless, broken gasps. Mulder's finger moved slowly inside him, reassuring him that soon this terrible, sweet, terrifying pleasure would end, and he would have his lover's cock pounding hard and deep inside him. Krycek shuddered, his hand reaching to claw at the short hair, trying to speed up the pace of the soft, sucking mouth on his cock. Oh god, it felt so good, so horribly, intensely good. It had to stop, or he would cry, or scream, or die. Mulder inserted a second finger much too slowly, stretching him with small twists and curls of his fingers inside him.

"No more, please, now! Mulder, help me, please!" Alex was thrashing beneath him, tears tracking the flushed cheeks, the soft mouth snarling in anxious, desperate need.

"Hold still for me, ratfink. Come on, be good, baby, I can't fuck you if you won't let me put it in."

At the first mention of getting what he wanted the frantically jerking hips in his hands stilled, and the muscles under the sensitive pads of his fingers relaxed, letting him stretch him a little further.

"Mmm? Mulder? Now?" the last word was a long, drawn out plea. Alex's body arched high beneath his, begging to be pulled up and draped over his thighs. Mulder leaned over him, reaching a long arm under the couch cushion and coming back with a condom package between his thumb and forefinger.

Alex bucked beneath him, frightened, wild green eyes holding his. He needed it so badly, he was so beautiful. Mulder felt his cock tremble in anticipation, longing to feel the heat of Alex's body holding him tightly, squeezing his cock and pulling him into his tight channel.

Mulder tore the package with his teeth, rolling the condom quickly down the length of his cock. leaning back, he pulled Alex up onto his thighs, supporting his hips with his hands to rub the head against the pink hole that tempted him.

"Now Dammit! God, please, I love you, give it to me, please, Mulder..." Krycek's words trailed off into a soft moan as the head of Mulder's cock pressed inside him, washing away all of the fear of lying naked and needy beneath him.

"Ahh, Alex. So sweet," Mulder sank very, very slowly into the receptive body that raised it's hips high to swallow up his throbbing cock.

"Mmm....Mulder," Alex's hand reached to dig into his hip, holding him buried deep in his ass. "Oh yeah, god, please stay, please stay, Mulder."

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere, it's okay, lay back..." Mulder leaned forward, pressing himself deeper into the willing body and pressing Alex's shoulders back against the floor. He began to move with long, slow strokes, drawing out the thrusts as long as he could bear. Until burning, liquid pleasure raced through his veins and his arms trembled with the strain of holding himself in these slow, deep thrusts.

Krycek groaned softly beneath him, his eyes wide with pleasure and gratitude. He could finally relax, now that Mulder's thick, hard cock was buried inside him, moving slow and powerful. "Mmm, yeah, oh yeah, like that Mulder," Alex's lips drew back to smile up at him, his hips arching up to meet the deep thrusts into his body. The pace increased by tiny increments, Mulder hanging on to his lover's hips with an iron grip.

He kept them like that, moving together in perfect synchronicity, his cock plunging deeply into the welcoming heat of his lover's body, feeling him convulse and shudder in pleasure around him. "Ah, Alex, I love you," Mulder whispered softly in his ear, leaning down to pump into him harder.

"Yes, oh please. Fuck me. Fuck me hard, Mulder, I need to come so bad..."

"I know. Beautiful rat..." Mulder muttered over his lips before he claimed them, sealing his mouth over his lover's to swallow the sweet, soft moans that proceeded Alex's orgasm. He was driving into him now, losing most of his control to the beauty of the body straining beneath him, needing it so badly, begging to be fucked harder and harder still. Mulder gave him what he wanted, bracing his hands on either side of his head, his cock pounding into the writhing body of his lover. They came together, gasping out each other's names quietly by long necessity. Even in these stolen hours, they needed to think about who might be listening.

Mulder arched deeply into his body, feeling Alex convulse around him, watching his sweet face contorted by pleasure and relief. He came in a long stream, shuddering again and again inside Alex's sweet body. Mulder collapsed on top of him, and Alex clenched his muscles, holding the softening cock inside him. "Stay." He gasped, his arm wrapping tightly around his lover, his face pushing into Mulder's neck.

"Mmm, you're beautiful," Mulder told him softly, raising his head to capture the swollen lips in a tender kiss.

They laid like that for a long moment, each storing up the memories to keep in the months ahead. Finally, Mulder got up, going into the bathroom to flush the condom. When he came back he dragged the two blankets off the couch, spreading one out on the floor for them to sleep on.

Laying down next to his exhausted lover, Mulder pulled the blanket over their sweaty bodies, drawing Alex against him.

"Six a.m. flight," Alex whispered against his chest, hating to say the words that we're inevitable, understood each time they were able to meet.

"Okay," Mulder agreed softly, refusing to think about the time when Alex would have to leave him again until it happened. Knowing that neither of their lives were in any way certain only made it harder to say goodbye until next time, always praying that there would be a next time...

Neither man slept deeply, it was a luxury they couldn't afford these days, and neither of them were stupid. The agent and the double agent curled together on the floor, arms and legs wrapped tightly around each other, holding onto what was truth in a world where nothing was sacred. These hours slipped by so quickly. All too soon it was dawn and they woke together, hazel eyes solemnly regarding green ones, foreheads pressed together, fingers interlocked.

"I'll drive you to the airport," Mulder whispered, his other hand coming up to stroke the beloved face.

"No, too dangerous. They'll be watching."

"Be careful."

Mulder was rewarded with a cock sure, dazzling smile, "I'm too good to worry about careful. Don't worry, he's already dead."

"Don't tell me, I don't want to know... I love you."

"I love you. Goodbye, Mulder. Don't give up."

Mulder nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I won't. Don't you either."

"I won't, I have you."

The End.

Blood and Fire

blood and fire
are too much for these restless arms to hold
and my nights of desire they're calling me
back to your fold
and i am calling you, calling you

from 10,000 miles away
won't you wet my fire with your love

i am looking for someone who can take as much as i give
and give back as much as i need
you know and they still have the will to live
cause i am intense, i am in need
i am in pain, i am in love
and i feel forsaken you know
like the things i gave away

and blood and fire
are too much for these restless arms to hold
and my nights of desire they're calling me
back to your fold
and i am calling you, calling you
from 10,000 miles away
won't you wet my fire with your love

Lyrics Borrowed without permission from the Indigo Girls.

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